This and That....
Well, we are now fully into our fall move.... moving others, that is!
My brother decided to change our Dad's moving date up, so on the first weekend in October, my son and I went down to help. We moved Dad from his house into my brothers new home - Dad will have a bedroom, bathroom and small sitting room on the first floor that are all his. His rooms can be closed off and heated as he likes, he has access to the garage and has to actually pass through the family kitchen and eating area to get from his bedroom to sitting room, so he most certainly is not isolated! I think it will work well - it will give him privacy when he wants it, and still keep him surrounded by people when he needs that. It looks like the ideal arrangement. Dad's house is not sold, so we just moved what he needed to start settling in. I will have to go back and help clear out the house - it will take a while ;-)
The following week was oriented to Dad again. He had an appointment at Rush University Hospital here in Chicago, to see a cardiologist about a new "fix" for his heart. My brother offered to bring him half-way up to cut down on my driving, which I really appreciated! The travel to Rush was uneventful, which was my biggest worry. I hate driving downtown, but thanks to all these modern technologies and online mapping, I was well prepared, and the traffic was nominal that day. The appointment went well and Dad was encouraged. The doctors (FOUR of them) all concluded that Dad was not really a candidate for their special procedure yet, but suggested several other things that he could do or have done that might make him feel better.
This coming week will be the move for my mother-in-law. LOTS of stress over this move! M-I-L is not happy about moving into a nursing home, but with her advancing memory loss and lack of physical strength, it is the safest place for her. And it will be a lot easier for us! Trying to supervise her living at home was becoming a nightmare. For the past few years, as her health and memory were deteriorating, she had a friend that spent time with her everyday and watched over her, and we also had another person that went in to check on her and oversee her medications. But the friend became ill and died this past spring, and having someone just check on her once a day was not enough. We wanted to keep her in her home as long as possible and finally found a lady to 'live in' with her, and while it has worked over the summer it would not be a good situation over the winter. So we are moving her into a Home here in our town. The one in her town is just not very nice, and still quite a ways from the nearest hospital - and still 2 hours away from us! The Home here is lovely, 6 minutes from our house, and 5 minutes from a hospital. I know that she is going to be very lonely for her friends, so I will have to make up for that by visiting her as often as possible - I will try for daily. For the past few months, she has gone out of her house and seen people in her community maybe only once or twice a week! Even though she will not remember how little she went out at home, and how frequently I will visit now, I will know.
All of this - my being gone from home, having to make arrangements for the moves..... has put a great deal of stress on my husband. He is very upset and stressed out to the max. Not easy to live with, to say the least. And while I know it is my 'job' to be patient and kind and supportive, I have my own stress to deal with, as well. Many times these past couple of weeks I have been tempted to just take off, but that is not a solution. I just need to button up, lay low, fix nice meals and wait him out. Women are the glue that hold the family's boat together - at least they are in my family. But this glue is getting rubbed the wrong way and diluted and losing her 'stick'. I just hope I can hang on long enough to make it through this rough water. I'll get patched up after things calm down a bit.
Feeling edgy and unraveled, like a pilled up sweater that catches snags on every little thing....
My brother decided to change our Dad's moving date up, so on the first weekend in October, my son and I went down to help. We moved Dad from his house into my brothers new home - Dad will have a bedroom, bathroom and small sitting room on the first floor that are all his. His rooms can be closed off and heated as he likes, he has access to the garage and has to actually pass through the family kitchen and eating area to get from his bedroom to sitting room, so he most certainly is not isolated! I think it will work well - it will give him privacy when he wants it, and still keep him surrounded by people when he needs that. It looks like the ideal arrangement. Dad's house is not sold, so we just moved what he needed to start settling in. I will have to go back and help clear out the house - it will take a while ;-)
The following week was oriented to Dad again. He had an appointment at Rush University Hospital here in Chicago, to see a cardiologist about a new "fix" for his heart. My brother offered to bring him half-way up to cut down on my driving, which I really appreciated! The travel to Rush was uneventful, which was my biggest worry. I hate driving downtown, but thanks to all these modern technologies and online mapping, I was well prepared, and the traffic was nominal that day. The appointment went well and Dad was encouraged. The doctors (FOUR of them) all concluded that Dad was not really a candidate for their special procedure yet, but suggested several other things that he could do or have done that might make him feel better.
This coming week will be the move for my mother-in-law. LOTS of stress over this move! M-I-L is not happy about moving into a nursing home, but with her advancing memory loss and lack of physical strength, it is the safest place for her. And it will be a lot easier for us! Trying to supervise her living at home was becoming a nightmare. For the past few years, as her health and memory were deteriorating, she had a friend that spent time with her everyday and watched over her, and we also had another person that went in to check on her and oversee her medications. But the friend became ill and died this past spring, and having someone just check on her once a day was not enough. We wanted to keep her in her home as long as possible and finally found a lady to 'live in' with her, and while it has worked over the summer it would not be a good situation over the winter. So we are moving her into a Home here in our town. The one in her town is just not very nice, and still quite a ways from the nearest hospital - and still 2 hours away from us! The Home here is lovely, 6 minutes from our house, and 5 minutes from a hospital. I know that she is going to be very lonely for her friends, so I will have to make up for that by visiting her as often as possible - I will try for daily. For the past few months, she has gone out of her house and seen people in her community maybe only once or twice a week! Even though she will not remember how little she went out at home, and how frequently I will visit now, I will know.
All of this - my being gone from home, having to make arrangements for the moves..... has put a great deal of stress on my husband. He is very upset and stressed out to the max. Not easy to live with, to say the least. And while I know it is my 'job' to be patient and kind and supportive, I have my own stress to deal with, as well. Many times these past couple of weeks I have been tempted to just take off, but that is not a solution. I just need to button up, lay low, fix nice meals and wait him out. Women are the glue that hold the family's boat together - at least they are in my family. But this glue is getting rubbed the wrong way and diluted and losing her 'stick'. I just hope I can hang on long enough to make it through this rough water. I'll get patched up after things calm down a bit.
Feeling edgy and unraveled, like a pilled up sweater that catches snags on every little thing....
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