How to say Good-bye to your Mother?
Last week was a bit difficult.... My mom passed on.
Actually, what was more difficult was the week before when I was down to stay with my Dad and Mom was in the hospital. But that is towards the end ...
My mother has had Alzheimer's disease for many years. We believe she first started to have memory loss issues when she was about 60.... just a few years after she finished her Master's Degree and passed her certification to be a Registered Dietitian. Whoever made up that stuff about exercise, diet and mental stimulation to ward off memory loss missed the mark with my Mom! She had done everything right: maintained a healthy weight, ate really well, walked daily, and was certainly mentally active! But by the time she was 65 she had serious memory issues, and was diagnosed with dementia - probably Alzheimer's - at just age 68. The last 9 years were pretty awful for her - and for us! She had been in the Memory Care unit at a nursing home for the past 5 years. My dad visited her almost daily - even though she didn't know who he was... just that nice Roy who came to see her.
So I lost my Mom a long time ago... It has been years since I could even hold a simple conversation with her - even longer since I could call her and ask advice about anything. I am glad we had moved back to our home state so I could see her more often, before she went into care. For that last year that she was at home, I would go down (it was still a 4-hour trip) for about a week every month or so and stay with my folks so my dad (and brother and family) could have a bit of a break from watching over Mom We could still visit a bit then, and she liked it when we would cook together. I had to show her how to cut up apples to make pie....
But for the past couple of years, even when I visited her at the Home, she rarely seemed to recognize me. This past Holiday time, when she was in the hospital, she may have thought I looked familiar once, but she could no longer speak - sometimes I would get a kind of a smile.
Now that horrible, brain stealing, body deteriorating disease has finally been conquered.
She is with God and free!
Actually, what was more difficult was the week before when I was down to stay with my Dad and Mom was in the hospital. But that is towards the end ...
My mother has had Alzheimer's disease for many years. We believe she first started to have memory loss issues when she was about 60.... just a few years after she finished her Master's Degree and passed her certification to be a Registered Dietitian. Whoever made up that stuff about exercise, diet and mental stimulation to ward off memory loss missed the mark with my Mom! She had done everything right: maintained a healthy weight, ate really well, walked daily, and was certainly mentally active! But by the time she was 65 she had serious memory issues, and was diagnosed with dementia - probably Alzheimer's - at just age 68. The last 9 years were pretty awful for her - and for us! She had been in the Memory Care unit at a nursing home for the past 5 years. My dad visited her almost daily - even though she didn't know who he was... just that nice Roy who came to see her.
So I lost my Mom a long time ago... It has been years since I could even hold a simple conversation with her - even longer since I could call her and ask advice about anything. I am glad we had moved back to our home state so I could see her more often, before she went into care. For that last year that she was at home, I would go down (it was still a 4-hour trip) for about a week every month or so and stay with my folks so my dad (and brother and family) could have a bit of a break from watching over Mom We could still visit a bit then, and she liked it when we would cook together. I had to show her how to cut up apples to make pie....
But for the past couple of years, even when I visited her at the Home, she rarely seemed to recognize me. This past Holiday time, when she was in the hospital, she may have thought I looked familiar once, but she could no longer speak - sometimes I would get a kind of a smile.
Now that horrible, brain stealing, body deteriorating disease has finally been conquered.
She is with God and free!
Visiting from Isabelle's blog......I am so sorry, can't imagine it, cancer was my parent stealer, a different sort of horribleness, though at least my mum knew us. Sending hugs.
ReplyDeleteOh, I'm so sorry. That's a very sad end for your mother and all the family. Much sympathy.
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